"Well, what do you want to do?" The blond atheist's eyes dared me to waver. It was miserably hot on the train platform, and the massive afternoon storm had uprooted trees, played cat's cradle with power lines, and rendered SEPTA's regional rail system useless. I was tired, cranky about train cancellations and hungry. But something told me to talk to the wannabe singer/IT consultant, who was also waiting for the long-delayed train. So I answered that although I was working for a clinical research company now, I wanted to go back to Spain to work for a church. "The Church or a church?" he replied. I explained about wanting to work with the evangelistas in Spain, and an inexplicable smile coursed across his face. "A lot of my friends - most are atheists too - would laugh at you," he said, "But I was raised strict Catholic, so I can respect your work." We talked about God for a while, then his train came and he shook my hand and melted into the crowd. "Thanks for talking with me," he said. In that instant, I knew why God put me on that platform two and a half hours later than normal. I could ignore my croaking stomach for a minute and thank Him for the opportunity to chat with this man about God.
The last month in Philadelphia has taught me a lot about the difference between my and God's priorities. I like my life on a schedule, but the Lord often diverts me from the linear. When I first started working at my new job, I was a bit frustrated that I didn't absorb information as quickly as I wanted. (That's the perfectionist side coming out.) But I was reminded - sometimes through co-workers - that I wasn't expected to know everything, and that was okay. My boss even told me it would take about three months for me to get fully settled in the job! Letting go of one more facet of perfectionism is translating to my spiritual life recently, as well. I'm not supposed to have every twist figured out beforehand. God's in the driver's seat, and I'm supposed to follow His lead in obedience and with a peaceful spirit.
The exciting part is that God has shown His faithfulness, and I'm one more step toward Spain. In completing a month at the new job, I've learned a lot. My aim is to keep my eye on the prize, as my spiritual mentors keep telling me, and keep seeking the Lord's direction in paying off my student loans and seeking to serve in Spain. Please continue to pray for the ministries in Spain, the workers there, and for me as I keep inching toward the goal of getting back there. It's for His glory alone.
